Sunday Confessions (Even Though Its Monday)

UPDATE (Tuesday):

I apologize if my rant yesterday was somewhat childish.  The feedback that I've gotten has only been positive, which I appreciate, but its weighing on my a little bit to share some of my ugly.  I did agree, however, with myself that I wouldn't hold back....I'd share the good, the bad, and the ugly...no matter what. I realize that NO ONE cares about my job responsibilities or paycheck (well, except Patrick but that's because we have a mortgage to pay).
What I did learn yesterday was that kindness begets kindness.  And I am satisfied with that (for now).

Happy Monday!!

I'd like to do a Sunday post every week; since starting this blog, I've become more reflective, and of course, my revelations are too good to keep to myself.  I don't have anything particular to write for this Sunday, although a topic is weighing on me.   Its been almost a year since I left a high stress, long hour, long commute, high visibility position, and what a relief it has been.  Life under the radar has become so much more manageable, enjoyable, and purposeful.  I no long LIVE to WORK.  There are a few things I believe to be true, as a result.  I don't think I would have had the absolute privilege of creating G if life had stayed the same.  I think I would be dealing with an overweight problem, not post partum weight loss.  I think I may have become an alcoholic.  I certainly wouldn't have started this blog.  There are a lot of things that are scary to think about.

I love my "new" job.  I still feel like its new even though its been nine months.  I think I'm still treated by some of my co-workers as the new person.  Confession time: some of them drive me CRAZY.  Not crazy like I was a year ago, but they irk me enough to talk about it.  No lie, its been really hard to step down in my career.  Sometimes I want to stand up and shout: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH RESPONSIBILITY I USED TO HAVE?  DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY SALARY USED TO BE?? And you think I need coaching on WHAT?!  I'm not ungrateful for my new job at all, just some days seem to bring out an attitude...and not a positive one.

I committed when I started that I would be upbeat, personable, and positive.  I think I am accomplishing this mind set, although sometimes its hard to not let others bring me down.  They are responsible for their own attitudes; I am responsible for MINE.

So what I had intended to write, was that last night, I resolved to be less sedentary at work...I would go to the bathroom more, get more water, go out into the warehouse...anything to get me moving.  But this morning, one such co-worker decided to bring her bad mood with her, and I've been hiding in my cube all morning.  How horrible is that?  To let myself be controlled by her mood. CYE - control your environment.  I get to work one on one with her for a good portion of the afternoon (yay), so I need to make sure I'm secure and solid in my mood and my contentedness; she can feel however she wants; I know she will try to take it out on me, but I'm resolved.  I get to choose how I feel.  ME.  And no one else.

CB Note: disclaimer - I am not a physician and this is not intended to diagnose you, but:
PLEASE: if you feel like you have had the baby blues for a little too long, or if you are constantly staying up at night worrying about the things in your life, or if you are sad maybe a little too often...it might be post partum depression, social anxiety, or just regular old depression.  PLEASE seek help.